yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize