what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize