My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
