There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
