This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
