when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
