The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize