so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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