You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
