Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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