His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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