Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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