Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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