we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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