Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He better not be in your backpack
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize