I want to walk on stilts...naked
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
