oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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