Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
