O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
