I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
