I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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