I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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