we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize