so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
