dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
