I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
