Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
