nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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