we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
