Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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