If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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