don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
