the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
