why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We need to get me chipped asap
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
