Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
