Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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