I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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