Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
