She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
