If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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