Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
