he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
