I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
third nipple confirmed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
