I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
