I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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