On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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