I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
