So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
