this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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