Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So vagazzling was a success
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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