I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
