Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
