it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
