Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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