I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
