Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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