I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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