I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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