I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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